I have always faced medical and health issues in the 18 years I’ve been alive, and have hospital notes split into two volumes as if Stephen King had written them. I’ve faced months of epilepsy seizures, in and out of hospital as frequently as if it’s my own home. I’ve had my body pushed to the limit so much so that a gravestone was a frightening but realistic possibility.Yet I’ve never felt as low as the chronic, constant pain arthritis gives me. It’s debilitating being in pain 24/7.
It’s affected all aspects of my life. For instance I’ve seen my PlayStation turn from games console to Netflix and Blu-ray player. I don’t know the last time I could actually sit and hold my controller pain-free to play with my mates. It’s now at the point where I don’t know why I even bother keeping up with the latest gaming news because it doesn’t apply to me. I’m indefinitely unable to game painfree which is very hard to swallow.
Chronic pain also destroys any distant memory of what normal hands used to feel like. I also don’t know the last time my knuckles weren’t bright red, as if I’d just been in a fight. The pain takes hold and never lets go, meaning any momentary relief is short lived. It’s impossible to fight as the chronic pain isn’t only a physical pain, but a mental one too. It can pull you down, kicking and screaming as you try to imagine a life without any pain. A life you used to have; physically and mentally free of its grip.
On the other side of the coin, there are many things I CAN do. I can meet up with friends at a local youth group, go to a cooking course weekly and go to the cinema, let my brain be so busy at one thing I can forget the pain. For however long it may last, I’m at peace and happy. And I can make one delicious meatloaf! Always focus on the positives is my motto for you.
I also visit a local farm which has many different projects to work on. From clearing an old railway carriage to feeding the lambs, there are many different activities I can get stuck into at my own pace. Its owners are welcoming and warm, as well as the workers. It is the ultimate idyllic Yorkshire farm stereotype! This is a place I can do what I want, when I can and try to ignore the pain. It’s the best getaway there is.
Always focus on the positives is my motto.
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(Any opinions expressed in Charlie’s blog are not necessarily shared by Arthur’s Place. Nothing that you read in Charlie’s blog constitutes medical advice.)